I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
