Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
