idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
