she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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