I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
