carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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