Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
