I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
