You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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