do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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