I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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