doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
