My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
