i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
