Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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