Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
