my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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