id be glad to
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
