did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
