We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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