brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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