New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
