Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
