I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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