My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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