I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
another moral hangover. fuck.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
