nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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