You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
What changed your mind?
Being sober
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
