I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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