i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
