I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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