Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
