I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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