Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
