She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
