Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
