everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
