I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
