plz talk dirty to me
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
