so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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