She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
