Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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