I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
