dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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