but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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