So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
