Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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