why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
