My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Randomize