do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
