The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Couch. On fire.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
