What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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